a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
