I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
