Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
