You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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