Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
