Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
