i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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