I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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