does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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