I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
