Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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