Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
