Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
