I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
