I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
