He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
