Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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