ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
