Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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