My hand turned me down
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
