Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
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