True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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