He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Is it penis luge time yet?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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