he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
