did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
