Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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