I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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