3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
