I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
