Screwed.edu
I don't think brook has ever known best
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
