Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
