I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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