He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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