Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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