We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
