The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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