He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
