He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
