Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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