Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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