u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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