no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
