well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
