The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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