You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
