Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
