I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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