well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
