Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
