Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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